interrupting life
by toilet-ducky
Summary: It's been six months since Jack left Torchwood for the doctor; and life is moving on. Ianto has met someone; he could even be the one, but what happens when Jack come back; and Torchwood once agains gets in the way of Ianto jones happiness? Ianto Pov
1. Prologue

This isn't right.

The sheets are smooth against my naked skin; they should be coarse; leaving my skin red and scratched.

I have my own pillows; I should have to share his.

The bed is big enough for the both of us; I should have to squeeze my body between his and the cold exposed brick wall.

His arms snake around my body; as he pushes his face into the back of my shoulder, and inhales deeply; still clearly asleep. He shouldn't be asleep; he should stay resolutely awake; claiming that he does no longer need rest.

He should be able to take a bullet, and be able to wake up again.

He should be Captain Jack Harkness; but he isn't.


	2. the other man

"Ianto"

I open one eye, and look at the cause of the disturbance.

"mmm" I moan pulling the duvet over my head once more.

"Ianto. . . Ianto. . Get up your mobile's been going off for the last five minutes, and the woman on the other end says it's urgent, and they need you. .

The words finally get through to my brain, and I'm up.

I pull the covers off, grabbing the phone from his outstretched hand.

"Tosh? What? Calm down what has. . ? Right it's fine I'll be there. . ? No it's no." I roll my eyes as I grab random pieces of my clothing that are strewn across the hardwood floor.

"He's a friend. . Yes a really good friend" I relent; exchanging a embarrassed smile as I accept the pair of boxers shorts he hands to me.

"Yes. Yes I will be there in twenty minutes." I flip the phone off with more force than necessary, and stand in half of my clothes.

"Work?" he asks with a knowing smile.

"yes" I add hastily trying to find the other sock; refusing to say anymore.

"Right" he relents; knowing that asking anymore questions will lead him nowhere. He moves to the wardrobe and pulls out the black pinstriped suit with maroon shirt that I had left here last week.

"here you go" he adds; placing it lightly on the contrasting unkempt bed.

"You had it dry cleaned?" I ask . He nods with a small smile; to match my own.

"I knew you'd appreciate it"

Already knowing that it will make me late; I give in and press a harsh kiss against his lips; waiting patiently for him to respond.

It doesn't take long; his arm hands wrap around my bare chest; as he moans into my mouth.

"You're going to be late if you're not careful." he warns; tracing the line of my boxer shorts. I moan lightly placing my head against his.

"Okay" I relent moving away, taking the suit to change in the bathroom.

It's stupid really; James has seen me naked more times than I can count; but I have a ritual when putting on my suit, and it's not something that I am ready to share with him. Not yet at least.

I walk out of the bathroom to a wolf whistle as I double check my cuff links.

"I like you in a suit" James comments; moving close towards me; as I hope against hope he doesn't crease anything. "almost as much I like you out of one."

I can feel the small pink tinge of a blush begin to cloud my cheeks, as thankfully James keeps his hands to himself.

"Will you come here tonight? Please" he pegs onto the end with a shy grimace.

"I. .uh. . I didn't think we had plans tonight?" I remind him.

"I know. . I know. . It's just Tosh; that woman sounded very. Um worried on the phone, and I know you're not ready to tell me about your work yet; but I just want to make sure you're safe before I go to bed tonight. . .okay?" He phrases it as a request; but how can I say no?

James and I aren't supposed to be like this. He's not supposed to worry about me; or dry clean my clothes.

He's not meant to care about me.

I can feel a lump slowly rise up my throat as I nod a reply; before I peck him on the cheek and leave his apartment.

The hub is in near chaos as I enter through the retracting circular door.

Tosh is beating furiously at her keyboard; her had moving between three different screens. I can hear Owen swearing profusely from the direction of the autopsy bench. . . And Gwen; well she is nowhere to be seen.

"Tosh?" I query; moving behind her and placing a light hand on her shoulder.

She squeaks in surprise; turning in her seat to see me.

"Ianto; I'm glad you're here. . . Things have been going crazy this morning." She remarks, pushing a hand through her matted hair.

For the first time since _his_ disappearance I look past my own feelings and realise how hard things must be for Tosh. Out of everyone she has been the one to take up the most slack. Even though I am sure that Gwen would have thought she was the captain's natural successor; Tosh has been the one who has spent nights in the hub; keeping an eye on the rift while everyone else; including me have a much needed night off. After this disaster has been averted I make a mental note to help Tosh more; and give her at least one night off a week.

"what's the problem?" I ask.

"Where do I start? It all began at around 1:15 this morning, when four separate Weevil sightings were called in; all in top level security buildings in Cardiff."

"Why didn't you call me" I ask; interrupting her.

Tosh just shakes her head.

"Ianto; we had it covered, Pc Andy has been a star; along with the Cardiff constabulary; they have all been given Weevil training as part of the new Torchwood initiative. And you deserve a night off as much as the rest of us do"

I relent on my rant' and let her continue.

"That's not the half of it. After all Weevils were caught, tranquilised and brought back to the hub; we began receiving off the scale readings from the rift. It's been spiking for the last six hours; and though it is not on par with the opening four years ago; there have been some small disturbances all around the bay; and we have had visitors." Tosh inclines her head to one of the screens that litters her desk; showing six cells all holding a different alien.

"we have been trying to catalogue them but it's been taking all morning. Owens's still in the autopsy room; going through them one by one; but without; um Jacks knowledge it's slow going." Tosh explains; thankfully trying to ignore my small blanch at his name.

I look closely at the screen; moving my eyes over each cell inhabitant.

"if I'm not mistaken; he is a Verulian beast; they have poisonous darts under their fingernails; warn Owen." I remark; though deep down it would be fun to watch Owens body swell to six times it's normal size.

Tosh nods; keeping any awe at my knowledge under wraps as she writes down the notes.

"That one is some kind of shape shifter I assume" I remark pointing at the second portion of the screen.

"How do you work that out?" Tosh asks, blinking rapidly at me.

"She keeps changing colour" I comment; watching the prisoner turn from a pale pink to a vermilion hue.

Tosh again blinks rapidly before putting her face in her hands.

"How could I have missed that?" she wails.

"how long have you been here Tosh?" I ask gently; placing a hand on her shoulder; in what I hope is comforting gesture.

"I know I know; it's a rookie mistake Ianto. I have been part of Torchwood for three years for goodness sake, and I can't even notice when a woman changes colour."

I stop myself before I start to laugh; it won't help the situation.

"no Tosh I didn't mean how long have you worked for Torchwood. I mean when did you start shift Tosh? Because it seems like you are exhausted."

Tosh look up from her hands and give me a watery smile.

"well I think in fifteen minutes I will have been here for eighteen hours" she admits.

"Toshiko Sato; why the hell have you not taken break? The others and I could have taken up some of your slack."

Tosh nods at this; giving me another smile.

"now; before I send you home. I know Owen is in the autopsy room; where's Gwen?"

Tosh's smile lowers a little; as she whispers.

"I haven't called her in yet"

"What" I can't help but see her bristle at my words.

"Ianto it's Sunday morning; and it was her and Reyes's anniversary last night; I couldn't ask her to come in; unless it's an apocalypse; it wouldn't be fair."

Tosh remarks; as her hackles rise; and her tears give way to annoyance.

"Since when is life ever fair for a member of Torchwood?" I ask seriously. "Tosh you are doing a great job of looking after us; while. . . While we are a man down. But you have to realise that we are all used to keeping unsociable hours. . And; _Jack_ wasn't afraid to bring us in at the drop of a hat. This may not be an apocalypse, but you need to be able to call us if you have a problem."

Tosh nods mutely; before standing from her chair and pulling me into a tight hug.

"Whoever that man was on the Phone this morning; he's done you good."

Without saying another word, Tosh walks away promising to call Gwen in before taking a nap in the on call room.

Even though we still do not fully understand the reason for the activity of the rift; all prisoners have been tagged, identified and shipped to the Unit base for further study; along with the Weevil's thank god.

Having said that though I do not leave the hub till 22:00 Sunday evening; but I know better than to go home.

James's apartment is only three miles from the bay' so I'm at his door in a matter of minutes.

"James" I call uncertainly into the intercom. "it's me. It's Ianto"

The door buzzes; and I am allowed entry to the apartment block. The three flights of stairs are dispatched quickly, and I am his door within minutes.

There is no need to knock on it though; because James stands there leaning casually against it in a pair of sweatpants, and nothing else.

"You're late" he comments quietly; but he is smiling; as I pass him with a chaste kiss on the lips.

"I never said a time" I remind him; taking his hand to follow me into the living area. When we stop He stands barely a inch in front of me; his warm breath heating my face. I can feel the tension electrify the air; and I know instantly that James is going to ask more difficult questions about my job.

"I can't tell you" I state; as his hands move to encase my own.

"I know. I know we've been through this before. And I understand that your work is important. . And private." he admits with a sad smile. "but it doesn't stop me worrying" he adds; with a knowing smile.

"You shouldn't-"

"What?" he interrupts me; dropping my hands and all light flirting that had been going on previously. "Are you seriously telling me not to worry about you?"

"It sounds stupid when you say it" I comment wryly.

"Well that's probably because It is. Jesus Ianto, I care about you. Is that so difficult for you to understand. We have been dating for four months; and I barely know anything about you! Besides the fact that you like your suits dry-cleaned and our very anal about how you make your coffee"

His face is bright red now; and I can see his pearly white teeth between his lips as he shouts; but I cannot help but find it so; adorable.

"I'm sorry" I lament.

"I don't want sorry Ianto" James comments; lowering his voice considerably; and retaking my hands. "I know that you didn't think that. . This" he gestures between us "would amount to anything; but it has. ."

"Again I feel the need to apologise" I comment with a small smile.

"Who's Jack?" comes the question from the left field.

"What?" I ask completely dumb struck.

"you say his name in your sleep sometimes" James replies quietly.

"oh" is all I can say.

"I'll wait for all the other answers. I can deal with you're no disclosure job; or the half arsed lie about being a civil servant; I can even wait to meet your friends; but I need to know now. Who is Jack"

I stand in front of him; and consider my options. The easiest would be to walk away. I do not need to explain to James about captain jack Harkness. I don't need James; I could find another casual bed partner, go back to the routine of roaming the well known Gay bars in Cardiff.

I've always considered myself Bisexual. Even before Harkness, I knew that I was equally attracted to men and women; but since, Lisa I can't make myself see women in the same light anymore. I've come close; on a number of occasions, but when I would look at them; even through beer goggles, all I could see was Lisa; with a tear stained and half converted face.

I have no such problem with men.

"Jack- Captain Jack Harkness; he's my boss." I answer; with the easiest explanation.

"Right" James replies with a low chuckle "Talk about taking your work home with you. . I mean I love my job too; but you don't hear me calling out my editor's name in my sleep"

I roll my eyes, but continue.

"He wasn't just that. . .up until six months ago, he was my. . . I mean, he and I. . ."

"You were lovers?" James asks.

"For want of a better of a word. Yes. . I sometimes thought we were more.. . .most of the time I thought we. . I was less to him."

The silence spreads out between us and all thoughts of sex have been pushed out of the window.

"You know. . .I think I should go. . . it's late, and I don't want to intrude." I make to get off the sofa, when I feel James's fingers encircle my wrist.

"Don't" he asks. "Don't go Ianto."


	3. office gossip

I slump back in the desk chair; letting the first relaxed breath of the day. It's the third Weevil attack in as many days; something has them rivalled; that's for sure.

"We're on our way back now Ianto. Make sure the coffee's brewed when I get there" Owen demands over the comm. Unit. I roll my eyes.

"Of course sir. Anything else? press your shirts, take a letter Miss Jones?"

"Don't listen to him Ianto; we'll be back in twenty minutes; Tosh out."

I smile unashamedly; as I begin to type up the results. It takes me a few minutes to realise that the comm. Unit is still on; and the team's conversation has turned to me. I roll my eyes at Owen who has stupidly forgotten to turn off his comm again. I should really alert them; or turn off my own, but I can't help but to listen in.

"What's with tea boy lately?" Owen asks with his usual blundering subtlety. I can almost hear Tosh roll her eyes.

"there is nothing wrong with Ianto. His work is better than ever, and for the first time in a long while, he seems happy." Gwen explains

"That's exactly what I mean. I never thought I'd see him smile again; so what's up with him?"

"He seems perfectly normal to me" Tosh comments.

"Spill" Owen demands; and I can hear him twist in his seat, as he turns to where Tosh must be sitting.

"I don't know what you're talking about" Tosh deadpans.

"Come off it Tosh you're a terrible liar. 'he seems perfectly normal to me' you are usually the first person with the conspiracy theories. So I ask one more time Toshiko. . .spill" Owens voice is light; but it carries a thinly veiled threat to his voice.

"I really don't know anything. Not for certain. You know Ianto keeps things so close to his chest" Tosh explains, and I can't help but groan. . She has something on me, for sure.

"Tosh; just tell us what you know" Gwen wheedles, and I can just imagine her saccharine smile, and simpering manner.

"Well; it's not a lot really. I mean I could be reading into the situation-"

"-but-" Gwen continues to push.

"well on Sunday morning I had to phone Ianto up to come into work; at short notice; you know with the spiking rift activity. Anyway. . Ianto didn't answer his phone. . Not straight away. . Someone else did"

I can just make out the group take in a overly dramatic intake of breath.

"Who" Owen asks.

"A man" Tosh answers and waits with dramatic pause.

"A man:?" Owen echoes.

"Yes a man"

"Is that it. . . A man answers Ianto's phone, and you think that you have the reason for Ianto's good mood." even I can't help but smile at Owens obliviousness.

It takes a minute but I can make out Owens "oh"

"Yeah. . At first I though it might just be a.. . friend. . An actual friend not a. . .but I thought I had better do a background check. . You know for security purposes"

Yeah right.

"How on earth did you do that?" Gwen asks in awe.

"it was rather simple. I just ran his voice recording through our vocal recognition software, and I came up with three matches. . .from there I cross referenced them with people alive and known to be living in the Cardiff area and I came up with one match."

I should have known. Tosh is definitely a sly one. I hear the rustling of paper, if I'm not very much mistaken she has a fact file on James.

Shit.

"Of course I did some extra research before I settled on one candidate. I managed to locate a profile and matched it to CCTV footage throughout Cardiff over the last six weeks. He and Ianto have been seeing a lot of each other" Tosh remarks fondly, but I can't help but feel my privacy has been well and truly invaded.

"So. . .Ianto has a new. . . Friend" Gwen asks

"It seems like it" Tosh observes.

"well well. I always thought Ianto was just shagging Jack for a promotion, I never considered that he may enjoy taking it up the arse."

"Owen!" comes Gwen and Toshiko's shocked reply.

"Sorry" he retorts in a voice that sounds decidedly un-sorry to me.

"So who is this mystery man?" Gwen asks changing the subject back. Tosh ruffles those troublesome papers again.

"James French. . 29 and originally from Bristol. He's a writer-"

"-reporter" Owen interjects

"No writer" Tosh repeats. "his family are old money. His dad sees his career as some silly hobby that he will grow out of soon enough and come back to the family business."

"Which is?" Gwen interjects; as I hear her put the SUV into gear, and heads back to the hub.

"Finance and accountancy for the most of it. They're harmless." Tosh says with vehemence. "He lives around the bay in one of those high rise apartments. He works freelance; so he can easily fit around Ianto's schedule. In short he's what Ianto needs right now. And we are not to interfere"

I can't help but smile at Tosh's little rant. After all that snooping she only really has my best interests as heart.

When they arrive at the hub; I make myself busy brewing another batch of coffee, and giving it to Owen with a forced simpering smile; which he totally misses.

"Is everything okay Ianto?" Gwen asks, as I hand her, her usual early grey tea.

"Yes Gwen everything is fine. No reported rift activity since you left the base." I answer normally.

"That's not what I meant" Gwen adds quietly, but accepts the mug anyway.

"I'm fine Gwen really. I think I'm going to be okay."

"You know you might as well bring all your suits down here. I have more than enough wardrobe space" James comments; as he traces inconsequential patterns across my chest; one night that I manage to leave the hub at a decent hour

"What?" I ask quietly; as my relaxed body stiffens under his touch.

"Well you're here more often than not anyway, and it would be nice to have an extra half an hour with you in the mornings, without you having to go back to your apartment and grab a clean well pressed suit."

I give a non-committal mmm; hoping that James will stop; but of course he doesn't.

"You could always move in some um other stuff. You know just the essentials; toothbrush, alarm clock; extensive book collection; favourite arm chair" he adds with a smile, annunciating each word with a twist in the pattern he draws on my skin.

"James" I start and his fingers still on my body. "Are you asking me to move in with you?" I turn my head to look at him. His eyes twinkle; not quite blue, not quite green; a mixture of turquoise shine with almost unshed tears.

"Would you hate it, if I said Yes?"

"Right" is all I can answer; as I turn my head away, and sit back in the sofa.

Five minutes later we are still sat in the same position.

"Are you going to answer me Ianto; or are we just going to sit here in silence for the rest of the evening?"

"James-" I start, trying to work out how to let him down.

"Ianto- how many nights do you spend here a week?" He asks calmly; devoid of the uncertainty it had before.

"Um well, this week it's been six nights in a row; but that's rare it's usually around five." I answer still refusing to look him in the eye .

""And the other two nights you are usually work till the early hours of the morning. I'm not asking you to give up your independence; or even sell your apartment. I just want you to feel more comfortable here; and the knowledge that you'll always come home to me."

I let the words sink in, as James's fingers resume their movement across my body, making it very hard for me to concentrate.

"I guess if you say it like that. I can't really say anything except for. . Yes" I answer, as his hands stall once more and wrap round my shoulders.

"Thank you Ianto. . .this means a lot"

As we make our way clumsily to the bedroom; I can't help but feel a twinge of regret. James shouldn't have to almost beg me to live with me. He shouldn't have to wonder where I am every evening that I am not in his bed.

He should be with someone who deserves him.

"Ianto" James whispers into my ear; as he lightly pushes me back against the bed. "Stop it"

"Stop what?" I ask between heavy gasps of heavy breathing. We really shouldn't be having a conversation at this point.

"Stop thinking" he asks me; as his hands make quick work of the drawstring on my lounge trousers. "Stop worrying about this evening. I'm just happy you agreed. And you wouldn't be Ianto if you didn't balk at the mere mention of commitment."

I want to argue his words; but I know that I can't; as does he.

"I. want. You" James tells me; annunciating every word with his own removal of an article of clothing.

It's slow, and heartfelt with James. I don't think I could bare it if it wasn't. It would remind me too much of him; if he tried to fuck me; like. . .well like Jack.

"Ianto" he calls my name; and I come back to him; us; this moment. I smile ruefully, as I begin to move round him; touching every part of his skin that I can. I map him out every time; reminding me that he is here; that I am here.

He begins to kiss me; starting with my lips and moving down and across my shoulders, leaving Goosebumps in it's wake. I follow his example with my hands enjoying the heat of his skin; underneath me. James always seem to be a few degrees hotter than me; making me cling to him under the cold duvets every night.

Just as I am about to push him down; he turns me round so I am laying on the bed with him straddling my lower back.

"Sshh." he coos, at my protest. "Just relax; you've had a long day" His arms begin to need my back; finding pressure points that I didn't even know I Had.

"mmm" I moan in appreciation. "This feels so good"

His hands move down my back; finally reaching the line of my boxers; and tracing it's line all the way round.

"I thought you were supposed to be making me relax" I ask, as I hear my breathing hitch with every centimetre his fingers pass over.

"There is more than once way to help you relax" James; purrs as he lightly moves me so I am once again laying on my back. He takes off my boxers and begins to lightly draw inconsequential shapes over my slowly stiffening cock with his fingers.

"James" I hiss as my hips slowly begin to rock towards him. I arch out my hands wanting to touch him but he bats them away with a throaty laugh.

"All in good time; but for now this is about you"

I try to relax into his touch; but my body seems to be emitting a low electrifying hum that refuses to let me lay still' I begin to thrash my head as a cool breath follows the shapes across my body.

It only takes moments of these combined caresses before I am beyond conscious thought.

I bite down on my own lips and scrunch my eyes to stop myself from crying out at the sensation. I feel a pair of wet lips encase my erection and suck lightly.

"Gah." I splutter, quickly rising myself onto my elbows, and stare down at James.

"If you. . .if you continue with that I.. I won't last much longer."

"That's the plan" James explains before wrapping his lips around me once more. I throw my eyes open so I can watch his action

It only takes a minute before I see James's throat contract as it struggles to swallow my seed.

"Fuck" I moan; as perspiration breaks out across my body; slicking me against his body, as moves up to claim my lips.

I can taste myself upon his mouth, an almost acrid musk, that is more strange than unpleasant.

"Sorry" I apologise, leaning my forehead against his.

"What for?" he deadpans; as he leans over my body; gently rubbing his erection against me. "You gave me fair warning. I wanted to do this for you. It just makes it all the more fun to get you worked up again." he winks, making my face flush.

He manages to get both him and myself off a further two times before we lay spent and exhausted in the bed; I lay against his slick chest, comforting myself with the steady beat of his heart.

I'm not usually so passive with James; I find it easier to take control, and set the pace. I've never let anyone have control, not after Jack, but I know James needed the control as much as I needed to give it up; for tonight at least.

I make sure that I stay to the morning; that I don't leave before he wakes up.

"Morning" I whisper; as I watch his eyelids flutter, and his breathing escalate.

"Morning" he repeats; as he claims my lips in a lethargic kiss. "How long have you got before you have to leave?"

"hmm" I consider turning over to the alarm clock. "Around fifteen minutes" I venture, as I turn to face him. Fancy joining me in a quick shower?"

I leave his apartment with a promise that I'll start moving some of the furniture over tonight.

"Maybe; that is if there's not too much work maybe some of my colleagues could help with some of the larger stuff. . .that way you could, um meet them too?"

I don't need an answer, the blinding smile will do.


	4. moral support

I walk around the briefing table; pouring at everyone's order into three white china mugs, before taking my seat on Toshiko's right.

"So down to business." she starts, glancing down at the stack of papers that she has in front of her..

"Pc Andy would like someone to come down to the station today and converse with the new influx of Pc's, you know give them a very brief overview of how to deal with things that are. . .um out of the ordinary, as he puts it."

We all look expectantly at Gwen.

"What? Why do you guys always expect me to deal with Andy and the police" she asks with a frown; but it quickly turns to huff of acceptance. "All right I'll make my way over after the meeting. I guess it would be good to see him again."

"okay" Tosh continues looking further down the piece of paper. "right well the rest of us will be dealing with the bi-monthly reports that we need to send to Unit. . .can you all please have them on my desk by five, they have been breathing down my neck so to speak since, our change in leadership, so we have to do things by the book, and we can all leave at a descent hour tonight."

"Really? I thought it was my turn to baby-sit the rift this evening." Owen asks, with a distinct sense of hope in his voice.

"I have created a hub detection system that will alert the relevant team member if there is any problems; so it means that none of us have to do anymore all-nighters seeing as we are a man down' it is very impractical for one of us to stay every night in the hub."

"Jack always stayed here. . every night " Gwen remarks almost acidly.

"Well he was a very special case" Tosh admits coolly.

"but he obviously did it for a reason. .I mean anything could happen" Gwen persists.

"Well how about you move in here then Gwen. . I'm sure Rhys would understand if you told him that you need to spend every night in the hub; because that's what Jack would have wanted." Owen states angrily.

Gwen merely shakes her head.

"I didn't mean that. . I mean I just think that we should keep everything just the way it is, for when jack comes back"

The room becomes very silent as all eyes seem to descend upon me.

"I think. . .Gwen that we have to take into account the possibility that Jack. . .well that Jack may not be coming back" Tosh stutters her way through the sentence.

I don't know why this outburst effects them so much; the room becomes deftly silent as no one dares speak anymore.

I mean why would Jack come back. . . .we were clearly not enough for him to stay, I wasn't enough for him to stay.

So why would he return?

"Right of course of course. Well if there isn't anything else. . .I should go and meet Andy. ." Gwen makes to stand up and leave.

"Wait before you go. . . I was wondering of I could ask all of you for a favour?" I query, stopping Gwen from leaving.

"Well. ." I start, feeling apprehension claw itself into my voice. "Well. . I'm moving some of my furniture over to a. . a friends house tonight, and I was wondering if you guys would be up for helping me move in. . .I mean. ." I bluster the words and I can feel the tell-tell blush begin to rise. "What I mean to say is. . Well I'm moving in with someone. . Special A male. . Friend for want of a better word. . And well I. . we would like it if you could help us move in. . .ah together."

I hate the way my voice sounds. I hate the words I am speaking. I shouldn't be telling them this. . It's private. confidential.

"Wow tea boy's going all domestic on us.. . Yeah count me in. I want to see who this guy is. . .and what's wrong with him." Owen responds, draining his mug, before leaving the room to carry on with the reports.

"I'll be there too. Rhys and I will come round to your apartment if you leave your address out. .. About sevenish?" Gwen asks, waiting for me to scribble the address on her hand before departing.

"Oh wow Ianto. . I didn't know you had a. . .male friend" Tosh starts, speaking at extreme speed; a clear sign that she is lying.

"I know that you found out about James Toshiko" I respond with a wry smile

" I. .I don't know what you're talking about.. ."

"I heard you. . Yesterday in the SUV. . James French 29, a writer . ." I start to repeat, word perfect the conversation.

At least my eidetic memory still has some uses.

"okay okay . .. I may have done some investigating. . But well I just wanted to make sure you're okay. . . You know after what happened between me and. . .Mary. . I just."

"I know" I relent. "I completely understand. . It's. . sweet. . I think. But you need to know.. He's a good guy. He just needs some piece of my life. He needs to know something about me. So I thought maybe if my work friends were to help me move some of my stuff in. . he could get to know you guys. ."

Tosh nods; with a wicked smile lighting up her face.

"Of course standard non disclosure?" she asks; to which I nod.

"Yeah he thinks I'm a civil servant. Not that he really believes it. . .so we may have to say that we are. . Um high level civil servants. . You know. . But for the time being at least he is willing to let me have my secrets."

I know that Tosh wants to hug me; I can feel her arms itch to grab me in some kind of bonding exercise; I internally wince at the thought, but I give her a smile to let her know that it's okay to approach.

"I'm so pleased for you Ianto" she gushes, as I stand stoically allowing her arms to wrap around me.

"After. . .well you've had a hard year. . .what with Lisa. . . And then Jack's disappearance. . I'm glad you've found someone…. You deserve happiness"

I nod sympathetically before giving her the same direction to my apartment that I gave Gwen; before bidding a hasty retreat.

I know Tosh doesn't mean it, but a small part of me wants to scream at her. How dare she place Jack in the same category as Lisa. My Lisa. . . She was my life. She was everything to me.

Jack.

Jack was just a passing piece of entertainment. I was a part time shag. . A source of convenience; nothing more.

And James. . . . Well I don't really know what he is. . . He's

Well he's gorgeous, with turquoise eyes, and thick long lashes, that he can beat to make me melt. A strong jaw line and pouting lips. Too thick eyebrows, that furrow when he's confused or tired.

He hates his arms and legs; he thinks they're too hairy, but I like to twist my fingers through them, and the soft tickle of the hair against my own skin.

I love how supple his fingers are, and dexterous. Years handcuffed to a computer; his fingers plucking out one hundred and twenty words a minute. We joke that he's a sectary and I'm a tea boy.

When in truth he's much more than that.

Even though his job could turn him into a couch potato; he's strong and toned. I watch the muscles slide and contract against the skin.

And it's not just his body. He's clever and funny; wickedly so. He doesn't pander to my brooding silences. We can be serious; but the aggravating tension and moody silences, that marked my. . .time with Jack is thankfully absence. . we're more of a partnership than I've been in any of my other relationships. . Even with Lisa I let her have the lion-share of the responsibilities; and decisions. What couch covers; curtains to buy to go in our new flat.. I understood that control was something Lisa craved, and because I loved her. . .I let her have it. To be honest I think she mothered me a lot. . After all even Lisa did not realise what I was capable of. She along, with ninety five percent of the employees at Torchwood one, thought I was just a junior archivist. . A errand boy.

If they only knew.

I shake my head of my thoughts as I walk further down into the archives; my own bi-monthly report already on top of the pile on Tosh's newly claimed desk.

The day both seems to drag, and go too quickly. Even in the archives I can't help but check the dilapidated pocket watch; one of the few things I have left from my father, every ten minutes.

I let out a long breath, as I try and make myself calm down. It's nothing. . It's nothing at all. . .I am just moving some furniture over. .

The dark leather recliner; the first thing that Lisa and I bought for our new apartment together.

The mahogany writing desk that's been in my father's side of the family for years. To be honest I only use it to hold the mammoth amounts of mail I seem to acquire; but I think James will appreciate it.

A trouser press. such a silly thing to be essential part of my routine, but I'd be lost without it, I couldn't believe it when James said he didn't have one.

I will keep the apartment; just in case, and it's a good a place as any to house all the stuff that I do not bring with me.

All I'll have to do is call up and cancel the paper and milk deliveries.

This helps. Going through things like a checklist. I've done it since I could remember. Even as a child; if Rhiannon had pissed me off; or if there was a bully at school that would not stop picking on me;. Instead of screaming; shouting I would shut myself off, and categorize things. One particularly dark weekend ma came back to find her whole wardrobe had been totally turned over, and categorized by colour; and occasion. I don't know how she never guessed about my leanings toward homosexuality.

I manage to make it through the day without hyperventilating, and happily, Tosh, Owen and I manage to make it out of the hub by half past five. Well there's a first time for everything I suppose.

"So when do you want us to come over?" Owen asks, as he digs into his leather jacket for the keys to

His motorbike.

"Say sevenish?"

"Sounds good. Can't wait" he replies sarcastically before walking through the circular door.

"It'll be fine Ianto. . I'll make sure that he behaves himself." Tosh promises; "see you soon."

Good ninety minutes to prepare James for Torchwood. . A piece of cake.


	5. home truths

James?" I call uncertainly through the intercom. 

"You do know that I gave you a set of keys for a reason" James drawls.

"oh shit. . Yeah. . Sorry I forgot. . Well I'm here now can you let me up" I ask apologetically. 

I hear James heave a sigh as the usual buzz of the door release heralds my entrance.

"Hi roomy" is what I receive when I open his door.

"hi" I smile automatically with a shy grin. I can tell he's been busy today; the loft-like space of the living room; has been moved around to accommodate my own furniture.

"Oh honey; you cleaned up. . What a good housewife you'll be" I dead pan; as I try to hide the bubble of excitement that has begun to grow in my stomach. James laughs, as he moves to wrap his arms around me.

"I think you are overestimating the amount of stuff I'm moving here." 

"It's fine. . I needed a clear out anyway. And any space that is left, we'll just have to go shopping for more clutter to fill it." he adds. "So do I get to meet some of your work colleagues tonight or are we doing all the heavy lifting ourselves?" 

"They'll be waiting at my place for seven o'clock" I answer; quietly.

"So we have time for a quickie then?" James deadpans. I roll my eyes, dramatically but let him have his fun. 

Even with the word quickie involved we don't make it to my apartment until twenty past seven. Tosh, and a very pissed off looking Owen; are standing outside of my building; leaning against the battered SUV.

"what's wrong with your watch Ianto. . I thought you said seven o'clock" Owen calls; as we get out of the car and walk towards the front door. 

"I know. . I Know. I'm sorry Owen. But we're here now" I answer as I catch James trying to push the bottom of his shirt into his trousers, and I can't help but roll my eyes. 

"Well I guess we don't' need to ask what made you two so late" Owen remarks with a sly grin; pushing out his hand towards James. 

"Owen Harper. Ianto works under me" and I can't help but roll my eyes. 

"You wish" James replies easily. "I'm James Harper, a. . I'm Ianto's. .I'm. . " as I see James flounder, I can't help but feel the need to set things straight. . Once and for all.

"We're partners." I answer for him.

"And I'm Toshiko Sato" Tosh steps forward and brandishes another hand, to which James accepts with a long smile. 

"Where's Gwen and Rhys" I ask as we ascend the three flights to my flat. 

"Oh, she called me around an hour ago, Rhys has taken her away in an impromptu break to a hotel outside of Cardiff. . She'll be back to work tomorrow but she can't come tonight." 

It doesn't take us too long to pack everything into our respective cars. To be honest I'm not taking much. 

"Are you sure that's all you need to take?" James asks, as he peers at the pictures on my bedside table that I am leaving behind.

"Yes I'm sure.. . I don't need to take them" I answer but James does not relent.

"Is this your family?" he asks, as he picks up on the of the few pictures of the Jones family that still exist. 

"Yes" I reply tightly, as I take out the neatly folded shirts from the draw, and place it in the large brown suitcase. 

"And this is?" he asks, pointing to a photograph of Lisa and I. it's one of the few ones that I saved from our apartment in London. When we. . I left London I only took the essentials, after all why would I need pictures when I had the real thing? Even if she was a half converted. . She was still Lisa. 

She looks so beautiful in that picture. Her mother had taken it, when we had visited her in America; it's a simple one of the pair of us, arms around each other beaming into the camera in her mothers back yard.

"That's Lisa." I reply tightly, before returning to my packing, hoping against hope that Owen and Tosh don't choose this moment to walk into the bedroom.

"And Lisa is. . . ." he adds questioningly. 

"Lisa is. . . Lisa was my girlfriend" I reply; as my hands shake over the ties, already aware that I will have to iron everything when I get back to James's house.

If we make it back to his house.

"Oh" is all he can say; as he physically walks away from the photo. "I didn't know that. . .I mean you never said that you. .. That you had relationships with women as well." 

Though he doesn't say it; I can hear the hurt in his voice; the new found weariness.

I bite back the poisonous retort; I shouldn't be angry with him. My secrets are not his problem. Lisa is not his problem; and she's not mine anymore either.

"I'm sorry." I speak into the suitcase that is filling quickly with all my now creased clothes. 

I hear more than see him sigh; but I can just imagine his shoulder slumping, and that lovely posture disappearing. 

"I feel like I'm repeating myself Ianto. I don't want your apologies, I just want you to let me in." 

The silence stretches out between us. 

"Why haven't I seen these pictures before? I know I have stayed the night before. . There weren't any pictures on your bedside table then" he asks. 

I know that we shouldn't have this conversation with my back to him; so I stop packing; and sit next to him on the bed. 

"I put them all in a draw before you arrived that evening. At the time. . I didn't want to let you in. I didn't want you to see them" I answer guiltily. 

"Oh" he answers hollowly. "But what about now? Has anything changed?" 

"Yes." I reply emphatically; turning towards him and taking his hands. "Yes it has James. I want to let you in. Gods of course I do. I'm just not good at letting go of all my secrets. Please just give me time." 

I look into his eyes, scared of what I will see but I know I have to do it. His turquoise orbs sparkle as they always do when I see them, and I know I should look away before I drown in them. 

"Take all the time you want Ianto. . .I'm not going anywhere" He answers with a smile quirking his lips. 

"good" I reply, but I know he needs something. One more snippet into my life, something he can hold onto while I hold back so many other things from him.

"I've always considered myself bisexual. .when I was younger, throughout university, I had as many relationships with men as I did with women. . Nothing serious. . It was all about the rush of adrenalin, and the quick thrill." 

"I'm guessing Lisa was different though" James ventures; the packing now forgotten. 

"Yeah. . We were together for around three years. . We were going to get married. The house in the Welsh countryside. . Maybe even kids. The whole package. I hadn't even considered that type of future before her" I note, as my brain pulls me back into a whole sleuth of Lisa centred memories.

"What happened?" James asks quietly, drawing slow concentric circles on my palm.

"She. . Um well she died." 

"Oh Ianto. . I am so sorry. . I didn't mean to.." I shake my head at his apology; it is too late and unnecessary.

"You weren't to know. I never told you. ." 

"Do you mind if I ask. . What happened. . If it isn't too painful" I manage a half hearted laugh at that. Painful? Watching her die, twice was painful. . Seeing her body after it's appointment with the conversion unit was painful. . This? It doesn't even come close. 

"it's fine. We used to work together. That's how we met. I was brought in; straight out of university. . And Lisa was. . Well higher up in the company shall we say. Anyway we worked in Canary Wharf. ." 

I wait for the gasp, I wait for his brain to pull all the information together.

"Wait the battle of canary Wharf? That day when those things; the calamity from the skies, that killed all those people; you were there?" He asks in disbelief. 

I nod. "Yes. We both were. I was fine. One of the few days off I got every month. . I had a lay in. I begged her not to go in that morning.. . . Tried to convince her to spend the day in with me. . Of course she refused. Maybe if she had. . If she went for lunch an hour earlier. . .if I had been there." 

I let all the what ifs cloud my vision. . They had consumed me for weeks, months after. 

"oh Ianto" he mumbles, and I am glad that he doesn't say anything else; that he doesn't say that I couldn't have done anything; that I shouldn't blame myself.

"They said that a lot of people were buried alive. There are still over a hundred workers left unaccounted for. . Did you ever find her?" he asks.

"yes. As soon as I heard I rushed down. . Was part of the first search and rescue missions; that were allowed back into the building. I found her. . She survived for another six months." I whisper, being careful to allow the truth to slip between the facts that I cannot divulge. "but she wasn't Lisa anymore. She would just lay there. Neither dead nor alive."

Well it's technically true. 

"And I'm guessing that you've never been with a woman since." James asks with delicate fingers still playing across my own hand.

I nod my head in acknowledgement. 

"it's not the same now. .It's not that I can't be with women. . I still. . Well I still have the same attraction to them as I did before. . But well I just. . It would feel like I'm betraying Lisa." I admit candidly. I turn to look at him once more; hoping that he understands where I am coming from.

"And what about me. . Are you betraying Lisa when you are with me?" the words are almost whispered but they hit with as much force as if he shouted them.

"No" I state emphatically, grabbing his hands. "No. . I didn't mean for it to come out like that. You know that I've been with. . Others since Lisa's death. . They just all happen to be men. . You're just the first person I've met that I can see myself. . Being with. . With any kind of permanence" I finally admit. I try to gauge James's reaction. I can see his mind working. . Wondering how much damage that event had on me.

"I'm not saying that her… .death hasn't effected me James. But I don't want you to think that I need counselling, or medication. . I miss her. . Of course I do. . But I've worked on it. . .I'm fine."

He nods at this before, moving slowly towards me, and brushes his lips against my own.

"Thank you Ianto. You have opened up to me. . .more this week than in the last four months. . Whatever the reason for the change maybe. . I am so happy." His hands move to my hips, and move to the bottom of shirt, trying to raise from underneath the waistcoat.

"Oy Ianto" Are you going to help us with this dirty great desk or not?" Owen shouts from the other room.

I groan as I push my head against his. 

"Rain-check?" I whisper with a smile, as we move to the door.

"definitely." he responds.


	6. moving in

It only takes one trip in both cars to deposit all my stuff into James's flat. Owen lets out a loose whistle as we push my father's desk through the doors to our new home. It's a nice flat. A really nice flat; with floor to ceiling views over the bay; and a state of the art kitchen that would make me salivate if I could cook anything more than beans on toast.

"Wow. . I should change career paths. . .writers get paid a dam sight more than I do" Owen exclaims; as we push the desk into a empty corner.

"Exactly how much has Ianto said about me then?" James asks with a grin, as he pushes the chair into place.

"Ianto? He's as tight lipped as they come. . We have our own ways of finding out things Mr French." Owen adds with a malevolent grin.

"Stop scaring the poor man" Tosh chides, as she turns to look at the stunning view of the Sun descending to meet the line of the ocean.

"It's a beautiful desk Ianto" James remarks; thankfully leaving Owens's comments for the time being.

"yeah. . It's one of the few Jones's antiques that I have managed to keep. It first belonged to my great grandfather. . He was an editor for one of the first Welsh newspapers. . But to be honest I have never really felt the need to write everything down" I comment as I look upon the desk with fondness.

"No Ianto finds filing a lot more enjoyable. . Can't get him out of the archives most of the time." Tosh slaps Owen affectionately on the arm, but says nothing more. James smile though I'm sure he doesn't completely get the joke. .

"So if you don't enjoy writing why have you brought the desk over?" James asks.

"Well something tells me that you will have a lot of use for a desk like this" I smile genuinely; becoming more broad when I see James's reaction.

"Really?" he says; as his eyes go wide; and his hands begin to stroke the mahogany wood.

"Of course. . That is if you want it" I answer coyly, as James rushes over to hug me tightly, and kiss me soundly on the lips.

"Right if that kind of thing carries on. . I think it might be our cue to leave" Owen comments; slowly shifting his weight toward the door.

"Hold it right there" James demands. "After all the help you guys have given us; the least I can do is buy you all dinner"

Tosh at least pretends that she wants to pay her way; Owen is a lot less humble.

"well we did do a lot of work. . And if you were to hire a proper company it would cost you a lot more than a slap up dinner"

I roll my eyes but cannot help but smile; they seem to be getting on better than I thought.

"Yes. . Yes of course Owen, your help has been invaluable. . But to be honest maybe a bit of manual labour will help you; I can't help but notice that you could use a bit of toning up" James deadpans, as he goes to grab the phone.

"What! I'll have you know mate that my job is very physical!! And I am in prime condition." Owen bristles; trying to tuck in his gut and appear more manly.

"Um . . Owen you work at the Cardiff tourist office with Ianto. . Just how physical is your work?? Unless you are engaging in some activities with my boyfriend that I will not like at all" We all laugh at the joke; but I can't help but notice two things. One that James is not letting my lie about my job lie, and he called me boyfriend. . .

I can already feel my cheeks begin to blush fuchsia.

"I'm not even going to dignify it with an answer" Owen replies.

"So" James starts changing the subject very unsubtly "what do you guys fancy. . Chinese or Indian? I have menus for both" he claims; fishing out the delivery menus for both restaurants. I can't help but smile at Owens's face as it drops, I think he was banking on an expensive meal in one of Cardiff's upscale restaurants. Tough luck.

The aluminium carton's litter the hardwood floor, and white shag pile rug, as all sit out with glasses of cheap wine and Laura Marling on the stereo.

"This is lovely" Tosh hiccups, between large mouthfuls of wine.

"Right we're leaving the SUV here tonight" Owen comments as he drains his own glass.

"To moving in the right direction" James toasts, raising his wine glass, as Owen rushes to fill his own back up.

We all raise them and chink glasses, as we let the wine begin to infuse the conversation with the occasional slurred word, and a relaxed air.

"So how did you actually meat fair Ianto Mr French?" Owen asks with beady eyes, as we all move to the more comfortable sofa's. He's been calling James Mr French all evening, but in Owens' world this is as close to an endearment as is possible.

"Well to be honest when I say it out loud it's all going to sound like I stalked him" James admits; as his own cheeks begin to hue.

"What?" I ask. I've never heard this story, so I am naturally interested.

"Well. . The first time I saw him. . We were both in Cardiff library. . I am ashamed to admit I was there to see of they stocked any of my books at all." The flush is turned into burnt cheeks as he continues with the story. "So let me set the scene. I'm there on hands and knees, trying to find my blasted book between other unknown authors in the N section, which just has to be on the lowest row of books; when a certain Welshman actually trips over me." James finishes, brandishing me a slightly tipsy grin.

"When do you have time to go to a library Ianto? Let alone read a book?" Owen asks suspiciously.

"If you must know I was on assignment. . You know the incident with the runaway. . . Erm dogs that had made their way into the lower levels of Cardiff. . We thought they had made their way into the library, when in fact they were in the sewers directly below it." I remind him, with as much ambiguity as my drunken mind can come up with it.

"You didn't state that you fell over someone tall dark and handsome in your report." Owen reminds me.

" aw you thinks I'm tall, dark and handsome? I'm touched" James comments with a large smile.

"That's not what I meant" he grumbles back.

"Anyway. . .James please continue" Tosh asks, stopping any further comments.

"Well, to be truthful my encounter was very brief, he falls over me. . Apologises profusely, before his phone thing begins to beep and he vanishes. . Anyway after that I kept my eye out and sure enough I kept seeing him around Cardiff. . Always running around doing something" James comments.

"Yeah well we all like to keep fit" I reply, taking another long sip.

"In a three piece suit?" he asks, but stops after I give him a significant look.

"Anyway one morning. . I go for a coffee, and some research at a local café when I spot Ianto. . Walks in off the street, straight past me and the rest of the queue's and manages to get served first."

"It was that week when.. .Jack broke the coffee machine. . I had to go to star bucks every morning." I explain quickly.

"I should of just said hi. . But it took three mornings before I got up the courage." He smiles at me, one that I return, as I begin to recognise the details of the first meeting that I remember.

"Yeah I had an understanding with the manager. . Got to queue jump every time." I explain. "on morning though one of customers called me out on it. He had the most beautiful turquoise soul eyes. . So I paid for his order on the company card" I remember, as James moves down the Sofa to wrap an arm around my shoulder.

"Aw how cute" Owen coos sarcastically.

"Shut up Owen" Tosh moans "I think it very lovely"

"Yeah well. . It still took me another three mornings to get his number" James admits candidly.

"Wow Ianto playing hard to get. . Thought I'd never see the day. . How long did it take for you to drop your trousers for Jack? A week. . A day?"

The room turns eerily silent; as all banter is long forgotten.

"That's overstepping the line Owen" Tosh reprimands him; all tipsiness is long forgotten.

"No Tosh. . If Owen wants to say something, let him say it" I snap; eyeing Owen like a ticking bomb.

"Nothing. . I meant nothing by it Ianto" Owen answers, as he downs yet another glass; but something inside me won't let it lie.

"no you're always making some bitchy comment about me and Jack. . What is it? Are you jealous of me?" I ask, "No I don't think it's that. We certainly weren't exclusive. . I'm sure if you knocked on his door he wouldn't have said no."

"Ianto. . Okay I'm sorry. . It's just the drink. . It was supposed to be a joke. . I didn't mean anything by it."

I want to question him further. I know there's something else bothering Owen, and has been for a while . All the digs; the cold look in his eye that he seems to reserve for me at times. . But tonight is not the time nor the place, and In truth since Jack's disappearance it has been better between me and Owen.

"Right I think it's time we bid a hasty retreat" Tosh pipes up. "If you would just call us a taxi that would be brilliant"

James nods, and within ten minutes both Tosh and Owen leave the room both giving profuse apologies; but what Tosh's is saying sorry about I'm not quite sure.

"well that went quite well" James comments as we begin to clear up the cartons and wine bottles.

"Yeah. .I suppose" I add with a non-committal shrug. "The world didn't end. . So not as bad as it could of gone I suppose." I take a long breath as I dump the cartons into the bin. I feel him snake his arms around my shoulders and begin to lightly massage the tight muscles that are there.

"I'm so glad that you're finally home. . For good" James remarks; and I let his good mood infect me as he pulls me into his; our bedroom for the first night of many.

In truth my routine changes very little with my new accommodation, I spend most nights at James's anyway/

Owens comments though not forgotten; have been ignored for the time being; and we have a developed a friendliness that I cannot tell is fake or not.

The rift has become more sporadic of late. We can almost go a whole week without a problem and then have four spikes in the space of four hours.

It keeps us on our toes at any rate.

James and Gwen are determined to meet each other; much to my embarrassment. Emailing and texting each other constantly, even though I have no idea how James managed to get her number. It takes almost two months of cancelled plans before they manage to organise a lunch date with the whole team.

"Now are you sure that you can all make it today?" James asks for the hundredth time; as he rolls over to watch me get changed.

I no longer feel the need to change into my suit in private. . One of the last private things I am willing to share with him.

Suits first. . The truth about Torchwood, will come soon. I think.

"As sure as I can be James" I reply, trying to keep the annoyance out of my voice.

"But you said that last time. And the time before that" he reminds me quietly; I turn to look at him; with dishevelled hair, and the duvets twisted around his naked body seemingly tying him to the bed; making me want to get back in there too.

"I know. . But the problems were unavoidable." I admit; as I kiss him on the forehead.

"You will tell me why?" I know he want the words to sound authoritative, but it sounds too much like a question.

I nod. "Yes one day James. I'm sorry but I have to keep my secrets for the moment." I move towards the door, and turn the knob before giving him one last look. He nods his acceptance of my answer; but I can see the fear in his eyes. It's the same fear I have deep in my heart.

What if I'm never ready to tell him?


	7. Interruption

Torchwood is blessedly quiet today, and I manage to text James to let him know that today will go ahead.

And of course he turns up sixty minutes too early.

"What are you doing here" I ask, as James steps through the door of the tourist information centre. Thank Gods I opened it today.

"I've come here to have lunch with you and your friends" he answers slowly, as if talking to an eight year old. I roll my eyes.

" I know that. But it's only. ." I check the rusting pocket watch "eleven forty five. . You've got another hour before we have lunch" I remind him.

"Oh" is all he can reply; as he ensnares me with a wicked smile; before turning the sign on the door to closed, and locking the door, and drawing the blinds down on the one grubby window. "I wonder what we can do, to entertain ourselves for a whole hour?" he asks the leer heavy on his tongue.

"James" I state calmly, as I push back my chair a bit so I am no longer at my desk. "I have work to do, and any member of the team could still walk through that door" I incline my head to the door behind the mouldy curtain. "And I really don't want any of them to see us. ." I struggle for the right word, as James moves to the door, and bolts it shut.

"Ta-dah." he comments. "all problems dealt with"

"What about my work" I ask pointing to the paper that litters my desk; a smile clings to my lips.

"Oh" he pretends to consider the problem for a second before; he pushes off all the papers so that they flutter to the dusty floor.

"problem solved." he responds. .

"Do you know how long that will take me to clear up?" I ask him politely

"Do you know how long I have wanted to sex, on and under a desk?" he asks in exactly the same polite tone. I try to swallow down the lump that has formed in my throat. "Especially seeing as you won't let us do it on your desk." he continues.

"It's our desk now" I reply calmly. "but you know how old it is. . If I put mine; or your naked arse on that desk I will never be able to think of my grandfather in quite the same light."

It's James turn to roll his eyes.

"Okay but this desk has no such sentimental value I assume?"

I shake my head

"Good now Mr Ianto who wants to have a go first?"

I can't think of nay other excuses; so I just smile, and let him push me back so that I am now sitting on the desk; as he slowly begins to disrobe me.

The tourist office isn't warm. I never really thought about it particularly, always just putting on a jacket or coat. . but it is very different when you are naked and sitting on an equally cold wooden desk.

"I love you Ianto" James whispers as he licks the outer edge of my ear. The words cause more of a reaction than his tongue does. I've been waiting for this. . And I'm. . ready I think.

" I love you too" I whisper as we descend into a tangle of sweating limbs.

We end up both in the leather desk chair; James straddling my naked form; which is quickly beginning to reawaken; very quickly.

"what are you doing to me" I ask as James begins to scope out my body; drawing and tickling each and every corner.

"Everything" he whispers huskily.

I leave myself to the sensation, closing my eyes, and just enjoying being here. . With James

That is till I hear the distinct knocking on the door."Just ignore it" James begs, and stops me moving off the seat. It's not as if it's going to be important is it?

The knocks turn to bangs, and before I can move James off or even get any clothes on, I hear the distinct sound of a key in the door.

"Shit" I mumble; but it is too late. A man that strikes a significant resemblance to Jack Harkness blusters through the door; filling the doorway with his large form; looking between James and I.

Shit it is Jack.

He catches my eye for three tenths of a second. I've never seen those eyes so open; it doesn't last long. The hope and longing that I am not even sure I see vanishes too quickly; and his face hardens back to the Jack Harkness I have seen too often.

"Who the fuck are you" he asks James who seems more bothered about my modesty than his own; draping his body over mine so that everything vital is covered up. Not that Jack hasn't seen it all before.

But James doesn't know who he is yet.

"James French" James answers, his body seeming to emit annoyance. "And who the fuck are you?"

He repeats jack's own question.

"Captain Jack Harkness. . And you're laying all over my employee. So unless you're a new recruit I would ask you to get the fuck out of my establishment." Throughout this whole rant Jack won't even look at me; which is really a blessing. "Ianto. . Meeting in ten minutes. . Make sure you're there" he finally looks at me; but it's definitely not in the eyes "Clothing is optional"

I almost cringe at the words, he lost his right to such innuendo when he left.

Without another word; Jacks moves to the door that leads to the hub; unlocks the bolt and vanishes.

"So that's Jack Harkness." James asks the redundant question.

"Yeah" I answer as he finally gets off me and helps me to get dressed, before putting on his own clothes.

"Did you know that he was coming back today?" he asks quietly.

I shake my head. Seriously, if I had why the hell would I let James anywhere near the place?

"are you in trouble?" he continues to talk through my silence.

"No" I relent; buttoning up the waistcoat, and turning to face him; hoping to displace any worries. "I think he's familiar with nudity" I cringe at my own words. Why the hell did I say that for? I am an idiot. "I don't mean. . shit"

James just shakes his head, pulling me into a comforting hug/

"it's fine Ianto. . You two have a past and I respect that. . I just didn't expect for him to come back." I agree profusely I didn't think he would come back either.

"I'm guessing lunch is off then?" James asks, as I walk him to the door.

"Sorry" I lament.

"I understand another rain check?" I nod sadly. "Of course.. One day it will be right. . Maybe I'll even get to know jack"

I laugh at that.

"Ianto" James starts seriously. Shit here we go. "Are. . Are we okay. . I mean now he's back. . Will you. . Can we still"

I can't believe what he's saying

"James" I begin moving towards him and placing my hands either side of his head. "This changes nothing. . I meant what I said. . I love you"

The smile I get in return is blinding. .

"Ill see you at home later then?"

"Of course you will"

It's with a large sense of dread that I descend the stairs into the hub. Why did he have to come back? What's happened? Another apocalypse to stop before he vanishes again.

The circular doors, rolls back and with a large lump in my throat I walk through. The large room is empty; and I know that they must all be in the meeting room.

I walk in with my normal tray full of drinks, now with the large mug full of black coffee for Jack. As if nothing's changed at all.

"I'm glad you could make it Ianto" Jack drawls from his space at the head of the table. I don't raise to the bait simply hand it out the mugs, before taking a seat next to Tosh at the end of the table.

"Sit here Ianto. . I've left you a space and everything. . I don't bite. . Much"

Taking a long deep breath I acquiesces moving up the room so that I sit next to jack; who shines a fake smile in my direction.

"Good.. Well while we waited for you to make yourself presentable. . Tosh has filled me in on everything since I've been away" he notes giving Tosh another fake smile.

"Anything that I may have forgotten will be in reports Jack" she pipes up, but I can feel her eyes on me; searching; worrying.

"Thank you Toshiko; you all have been doing a marvellous job." Jack praises; with an inane smile brandishing it at every one at the table me included.

"Now the first order of business. . Tosh I would like for you to do a full background check on a Mr James French."

What? I want to shout but my body remains passive

Tosh stops taking her notes to look Jack directly in the eye.

"Excuse me?" Tosh squeaks, letting her glasses drop off her nose and be saved by the string that attaches it to her neck.

"I think you've heard me correctly" Jack replies.

"But. . Why?" Gwen pipes up; bringing herself into the conversation.

It seems so strange to hear them discussing my life. . My James, but I cannot seem to find my voice.

Jack sighs heavily.

"We work in a high security building Gwen. And in the past. . There has been- shall we say -breeches in security. . I just want to make sure we don't' have any repeats of past mistakes." he explains slowly as if talking to children.

"Bullshit" Owen remarks which is promptly ignored.

"I've already done a background check on James French Jack" Tosh stutters "When we first um. . Came into contact with him I researched him. . He's fine Jack there is absolutely no security problems with him. . .he's a stand up guy."

Jack seems to consider this. . Before replying.

"That was before I found him naked on my tourist information room desk. Double check your results Tosh; triple check them."

"What?" Gwen blusters, turning her head from Jack to myself. And I can feel myself turning red despite my best efforts to remain impassive.

"We may have got a little carried away" I admit with a tone of great embarrassment. "he had come a little early for lunch with us. . And we had an hour to kill" I explain with a shrug of my shoulders which is supposed to come across as nonchalant; though I don't think it achieves it.

"Oh" is all Tosh can say.

"Right" Jack begins completely ignoring my addition to the conversation. "I think you've all got enough to be getting on with. . If that's all I'll be in my office reading all these lovely reports."

Jack is almost out of the room, before he is halted by Owen.

"Wait a second, are you not going to tell us where you've been?" he asks with a steely determination.

"Why should I?" Jack asks as if it is a genuine question.

"Why should you? How about we have a right to know. . You swan off six months ago. Six months Jack? What the fuck happened? Where did you go? what did you do? And more importantly why are you back?" Owen shouts all the words with great vehemence. Jack doesn't answer straight away; and when he does it's not what Owen wants to hear.

"It doesn't matter where I was Owen. And as for the reasons for my return" he pauses here, and I can swear his eyes seek out mine; but I'm not sure. "That is neither here nor there, all that matters is that I am back, and I am once again your boss. So unless you want a report to go in your file I suggest you go and find yourself some work to be getting on with."

Owen begrudgingly admits defeat, and scowling leaves the briefing room, along with Tosh who doesn't breath a word, just shoots me an apologetic glance.

"Jack." Gwen starts, but gets no further as he just shakes his head at him, and se relents leaving to do some filing of some sort.

I am just about to follow when I am halted.

"Ianto"

"Yes sir" I answer, though I cannot tell whether anger of annoyance are the closest emotions in my voice.

"---" For a moment I think he is lost for words. Jacks eyes seem to seek out my own before they drop to my body flowing over it like silk. It shouldn't feel so good; so missed.

"I hope that today's exhibitionism was a one off?"

"Yes sir" I reply refusing my blush. "I won't be doing that in the office anymore"

"Good. Now can you make me another batch of coffee. . I've missed it."

He smiles at me; but the warmth is conspicuous in it's absence; and that's not the only differences; between the Jack Harkness that left; and the Jack Harkness that stands in front of me.

"How long were you gone?" I ask, halting any movement he might make towards the door.

"what do you mean? you know how long I have been gone. Six months." he remarks with a feigned lightness in his voice that I can tell is thinly veiling something darker.

"No" I appose; shaking my head vehemently. "That's how long we have been here. Me; Tosh Owen and Gwen, wondering if you would ever come back. . I am asking how long is it since you left here?"

"Ianto I don't-" Jack begins his eye growing colder, but I stop him with a shake of my head.

"Don't feign ignorance. . It doesn't suit you. I'm not even going to pretend to know how it works but I do know that. . Time travel and things like that are not completely out of the realms of possibility for a man like you; or the kind of people a man like you knows" I insinuate.

Jack blinks rapidly three times before he replies.

"Does it matter how long I have been away?" Jack asks.

I actually consider my response. Why does it matter? Why do I care; that I can see that time has weathered his face; nothing compared to what would have happened if he aged like a regular human; but it's there nonetheless. He's thinner; the 1940's outfit hangs more loosely against his frame. His cheeks have hollowed; but it's his eyes; that have changed the most. They are duller; no longer sparkling with aquamarine bleeding in to royal blue.

"It matters to me" I answer, speaking towards my shoes, because I cannot bare to look at him. I cannot bare to let him know that I still care. I'm waiting for the barbed comment; the acid tongue but it doesn't come. He doesn't bite.

"Twelve months. . Give or take a week or two." he answers

"Oh. ." is all I can answer. . Twelve months. . What did he. .

"Don't ask me what I did. . Where I went. . Because I won't answer" Jack replies before I can ask the next obvious question. I look up at him again, the guards well and truly up.

"Did you find him. . .your doctor?" I ask quietly unwilling to let him leave just yet. He even manages to smile at that.

"Yes. . Yes I did. Though he's not my doctor; he never really was."

"Did you get your answers? Was he able to. . To" I want to say the word fix; but it isn't right, he didn't need fixing; he was. He was perfect as he was. "To help you with your eccentricity." I say for the lack of a better word.

"Eccentricity. The doctor would have loved that word. No I'm just as indestructible as I was when I left. . So if you ever feel the need to shoot me; go ahead. I will get back up" He tries to flash another hundred watt smile in my direction but it doesn't quite reach his eyes.

"Why on earth would I want to shoot you sir? Unless you asked me of course" I answer steadily.

"Well I would understand if you were upset at my absence. . I mean I didn't leave a note or anything."

I think this is as near to an apology as I will get; but it doesn't matter anymore. He doesn't matter anymore.

"Well if that is the case sir; I think you should expect a bullet from Tosh Owen and Gwen as well sir." I reply; knowing that I should really leave; but Jack's blocking the door; and seems not to want to let me go.

"Ianto. . That's not what I meant. . I mean if I had my time again I would have told you. . I would have come back sooner; or something." He's grasping at straws. It's almost endearing; but it's just too little too late.

Or maybe you just shouldn't have gone? But of course I don't say it out loud.

"It doesn't matter sir. It's done now; and everything worked out well. . We all survived to battle another day" I finish with my own dimly lit smile; which I know he can see right through.

"Ianto.. ." he starts, but will not finish.

"No sir. I'm fine. . We are all fine. Now if there is nothing else you need, I have a lot of filing to get done before I can go home tonight."

Jack can only nod, and stand away from the door to let me leave.

The archives are a blessed relief. The air is cooling my heated skin; the perspiration from my previous activities; beginning to disappear in the less humid conditions. My mind craves to bury itself in the filing cabinets; lists and facts are much easier to decipher than thoughts and emotions. I can almost sense Tosh and Gwen itching to descend the staircase to my inner sanctum; but thankfully they stay away.

I just need time.

When thirty minutes past five passes on my pocket watch; I finally leave the dark confines of the archives; to ascend the stairs and hopefully go home. Gwen Tosh and Owen are all sitting around their desks; causally talking and I can tell they are waiting for the nod from Jack to go home. Owen already has his jacket on which is a clear sign.

"Any disturbances while I've been gone?" I ask lightly as I go to my own desk; and straighten up the already neat area.

"No. . not even a single Weevil sighting. . It looks like Jack has chosen a really easy day to return" Owen remarks; jingling his keys loudly hoping that the sound will carry to Jacks' office.

"do you think I should ask if we can go?" Gwen asks; nervously.

"Better you than me" Owen adds.

"Oh come off he won't shout at us for asking to go home. It's not as if we've got anything to do. .I mean we've all finished our work. . Tosh?" Gwen asks pointedly; and I can see her give Gwen daggers.

"Yes I have done as Jack asked" Tosh replies; but she turns to look at me. "I can go through it with you; if you'd like. . Jack already has a copy. . But I made a copy. . Just in case"

I don't know what to do. I mean on one hand I hate the thought that I would be going behind James's back like this.. . But on the other side. . He has always been more than forthcoming when it comes to his past; and I really don't want jack to know anything about him that I don't. .

"I. . I don't know. .I" I can't decide; but I know for definite I do not want to have the discussion in front of Owen and Gwen. Tosh seems to realise my dilemma.

"Well I'll have to file away my report along with the rest; so you know where it will be if you ever feel the need to read it." I nod with a small smile.

"Right. . I've had enough of this. I'm going to go and ask him if we can go" Gwen states before leaping from her chair and heads towards the office.

"who wants to bet that he doesn't even let her in the door?" Owen asks as we all watch her knock on the door. Surprisingly she is allowed entrance.

Two minutes later she returns.

"We can go home" she announces rising her hands in the air in a triumphant pose.

"Are you sure?" Tosh asks. Owen has no such qualms as he is already hastily saying goodbye before leaving the hub.

"Yeah jack says we are more than welcome to go. He said he'll phone us if there is any problems" Gwen states.


	8. Ianto on call

I have quite a peaceful evening at home; except for a couple of questions when I first walk in James thankfully let the jack situation lay. After all he has nothing to worry about; though I feel I have to show him profusely; twice.

The phone wakes me up. I manage to claw at it before it wakes up James.

"Hello?" I say dully into the receiver, at the unknown number.

"Ianto?" the phone cackles.

"Yes? Who is this?"

"It's. . it's jack now open the fucking door!!" the voice thunders.

"Excuse me sir?" I ask sitting up more fully on the bed; resting against the headboard.

"Don't play dumb with me Ianto. I have been buzzing on your door for the last five minutes now would you please let me in before I become less polite" Jack hisses.

"Sir? I don't know what you are going on about?" I reply; as my mind races to throw off the last vestiges of sleep.

"I." he starts pacing the words with the right amount of anger "Am standing outside of your apartment building; as it pisses it down with rain, waiting for you. . Ianto Jones to buzz me up.. . I . I need to talk to you"

I let the words sink in; oh shit.

"Um. . I am very sorry to tell you sir. But I am not at home. . So I can't really let you in." If I was more awake I would take more enjoyment from these words.

"Oh" is all the response I receive. "Right. . Um will you be coming home anytime soon?" Jack asks; all the wind taken from his sails.

"Um well to be honest. . Even though I still own the property. . I um. . Well I don't live there anymore sir."

"well thank you for letting me know Ianto. . Before I decided to come to you apartment."

I can't help but rise to the bait.

"Well to be honest sir. When was I supposed to tell you? I couldn't send you a house warming invitation, because I didn't know where the hell you were!" I thunder down the phone; for a second completely forgetting that James is laying beside me.

"Ianto?" he mumbles, blinking his eyes at me. Shit.

"James. ." I note, placing a hand over the receiver. "I'm sorry to wake you up. .I'll just take this in the living room."

I know that I'm naked under the covers but I am past caring as I fling it off me and walk out of the room; without giving James a reason.

"Ianto? Are you even listening to me?" jack calls.

"No sir I wasn't. . what did you say?"

"I said. I don't want to have this argument over the phone. . Can you please tell me your new address. The SUV might as well get some use of it this evening" jack comments.

Shit he wants to come over. I rush to think of anything to say to deter him, when I realise that truth is probably the best option.

"Um sir. . Well I don't know if that's the best option. . I live with James. . James French now and I don't know how pleased he will be to see you on his doorstep at this time. .or in fact anytime" I add.

"Ok. . Right. So he wasn't just a quick shag then" Jack notes. "I did think it would be a bit strange a man coming into the tourist information office, and you two getting down to business straight off the bat. . It took me three weeks just to get you to kiss me.. ."

I think that was my first mistake with Jack. If I had just given into him straight away; I wouldn't have become; so hooked; so dependant on him. He wasn't the only man I have been with since Lisa. . But it was always more complicated with Jack. . More feelings involved; on my side anyway.

I don't know what Jack's voice holds, but it does sound strangely hollow; or even disappointed.

"Sir. . I'm. ." I have to stop myself from saying sorry.

"No it's fine Ianto. . I should have realised that some things might have changed in my absence.. Anyway I think I'll leave this conversation till the morning. . .tell James I said hi"

"I don't think he'd appreciate it" I comment wryly.

"Ah. So you told him about me then" jack notes, and for the first time in our conversation I can tell that he is smiling.

"We don't have any secrets sir" I reply sharply.

"So you know about his three month stint in a Thai prison then?" Jack asks, as I here papers rustling in the background.

"Are you seriously telling me that you brought the file Tosh compiled with you?" I ask, only slightly shocked; and determined not to answer his questions.

"Don't change the subject Ianto. But if you don't want answer me how about you tell me this instead, have you told him about Lisa yet" he's gone straight for a nerve, and I don't understand why.

"Why are you doing this sir?"

"Is that a no then Ianto?"

I grit my teeth before I reply. "it's a yes sir. He knows about Lisa. . But don't worry there's no need for retcon; he's still in the dark about our work."

"Good" is all he replies.

"Is there anything else? Or can I get back to bed?" I ask petulantly

"will he be in bed with you?"

"Is that any concern of yours?" I ask.

"You used to come to my bed" jack comments; and I can't tell if he's still joking or if there's something else in his voice.

"Well you left. And a lot of things changed."

His next words are thrown at me so quickly that I don't know if I hear them correctly before he turns off his phone.

"not everything has to change Ianto."

"Was that work?" James asks as I slip beneath the sheets again.

"Yeah. .but everything's fine. . Turns out I'm not needed after all"

"Oh good. . I can't really sleep when you're not in the bed" James admits, as he pulls me towards him enveloping me in his warmer body.

This is where I am mean to be.

Apparently I've been marked down as his next to kin; which is news to me. They ring me barely two and a half hours after Jack has hung up on me.

"Jack?" I ask dully; this time venturing to the living room before answering. At first though, all I receive is static.

"If this is you Jack. . .can you just please just leave it for now. . I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Mr Jones" the phone finally speaks, with a vastly different voice to Captain Harkness.

"yes, that's me. . Who is this?"

"My name is Dr Arnold Meyer. .I am calling you from Cardiff A&E. ." My heart sinks, as my mouth goes dry. "I am calling you because we have a Captain Jack Harkness admitted, and it says on his records that you are his next to kin?"

"What? Um yes well. . Yeah I guess I am" I note dully; another thing that Jack has forgotten to mention.

"What's happened? Is he okay? I mean why is he. ."

"I don't think this is the kind of thing that can be discussed over the phone Mr Jones. All I can say right now is that is he is in a very severe condition, and it would be in everyone's best interests if you could come down straight away." the doctor states; his voice cold and business-like.

"Right. .Okay. Right well I'll be on my way then" I answer, as I try to come to terms with what has just happened.

"Good. I shall see you then Mr Jones" he hangs up on the phone; as I continue to sit on the leather sofa.

Shit. What am I going to do?

I stumble barefoot into the bedroom, pulling open the wardrobe and grabbing the first items of clothing that I place my hands on. James's black denims fit well on, as does the white v-neck t-shirt.

"Ianto, what the hell are you doing?" James asks wearily; as he tries to pull the covers off his body.

"I've. . I've got to go James. Something has come up, and well I've got to go." I reply; moving to the bedside table and grabbing my keys.

"Ianto where do you think you're going at this time of the morning?" James continues to question me as he stares at the alarm clock, huh I thought it was later than three o'clock.

"It's. it's well Jack, my boss. . He's been admitted to Cardiff A&E, and well I've got to go" I answer; as I try to think through how I am going to make it there as quick as possible; will there be any taxi's running at this time?

"Oh shit" James mutters. "is it serious?" he asks.

"They said he was in a severe condition" I add hastily. I could phone Owen, get him to give me a lift in. having said he'd probably be in bed with some poor woman by now. Maybe Gwen?

"I don't mean to sound rude, but surely his family are with him Ianto? Maybe it's best if you leave it to the morning. I mean I don't think they'll want work colleagues hanging around in the early hours of the morning." James continues to protest; I just shake my head.

"No. I mean the doctor phoned me in person. Jack doesn't have any family.. . Not anymore anyway. . And well I'm down as his next of kin so I really don't have a choice." I mutter. . No I can't call Gwen she would just blow things out of all proportion.

"next of kin?" James repeats; his voice changing into something I don't recognise. "you just said you were colleagues. . A passing fling. . Now you say you're his next of kin. . .is there something else going on that I need to know about?"

I sigh heavily; I really don't have time for this.

"look. . It doesn't really mean anything. . I didn't even know that I was his next of kin until ten minutes ago. . And I'm sorry James but I have to go. ."

"Right" he says again. "Well you'll be needing a lift then I suppose. . Just give me a minute to find another pair of trousers; seeing as you've got my favourite pair on" he adds with a quirk of his lips.

"Sorry" I lament; but he merely shakes his head as he gets out of bed and wraps his arms around me.

"no need to apologise. . .you look good in them" James remarks; though we both know that's not what I mean.

I roll my eyes but accept his hug; this could have gone a lot worse.

We make it to the hospital in record time; I know I should really inform Tosh, Owen and Gwen; but I don't; not yet anyway. I need to find out what's happened first.

"Excuse me" I ask the receptionist politely, as James stands two steps behind.

"All new patients need to fill out this form; and take a seat over there, and a nurse will be with you shortly" she states the perfected script.

"no. .I'm not a patient. . I was called ten minutes ago about Captain Jack Harkness. He was admitted here, I've been told he is in a sever condition?" I add; as my hands subconsciously drum their fingers on the desk.

The receptionist blinks several times in my direction, before she directs her attention to her computer screen.

"Yes Captain Harkness was admitted with severe wounds and bite marks throughout his body. . Ok can I assume you are the next of kin Mr Ianto Jones?" she asks, as her eyes still scan the screen.

"Um Yes. . That's me. . Can I see him?" I ask my voice starting to rise.

"All in good time Mr Jones. I will just page Dr Meyer who has been dealing with your. .?" she lets the question hang in the air.

"Boss" James chimes in helpfully.

"Boss? Wow you two must be very close" she adds with a knowing smile; that I chose to ignore.. "Dr Meyer should be with you shortly, if you and your friend would like to take a seat" she smiles the kind of simpering smile that I cannot stand.

I nod in acknowledgment, and both James and I sit in the horrible plastic chairs that have been provided, along with the out of date magazines.

"What do you think's happened to Jack?" James asks quietly as I pretend to be interested in the women's health magazine.

"I really don't know" I answer hoping to quell any further questions.

Of course it doesn't work.

"But the receptionist said severe bite marks! I mean what the hell could have caused that? Maybe a savage dog or something?" he persists.

Or something I think.

"look James I really don't know anymore than you. . .maybe it would be best of you just went home. . I mean I think I'm going to be here for the duration and didn't you say something about a meeting with your editor tomorrow; well today now. . You should get back and get some sleep beforehand." I comment; hoping that for once he will do as I ask.

I am not surprised to see him shake his head.

"Tim won't care; I can talk to my editor anytime.. . And this is more important. . I want to be here for you Ianto. . I want to be part of your life. . . .please don't shut me out again Ianto" James requests, dropping his own magazine and holding onto my hands tightly.

I sigh inwardly.

"Okay. . But I need you to wait here when I go and see Jack. ." he goes to argue but I stop him. "This isn't negotiable James. You can come in later. But I think maybe it's best if I'm there on my own. . Please" I add hoping to dissuade him.

"Okay. . . But do you think that you should phone the others now. . . They won't be pleased to be kept in the dark"

I hate it, but he's right.

"okay but could you do it. . Phone's aren't allowed in the hospital and I want to be here for when Dr Meyer comes"

Relenting; James agrees, leaving me with a swift kiss on the cheek.

"Mr Jones?" the man who I assume to be Dr Meyer, asks, looking at me over horn rimmed glasses, ten minutes later.

"Yes. .how is Jack?" I ask straight away.

"well, I won't lie to you Mr Jones. . It doesn't look good. His body has been subjected to a severe beating; there are bite marks all over his body; and there is severe damage to a lot of key organs." Dr Meyer remarks as he consults his clipboard.

"can I see him?" I ask quietly, trying to hide the worry in my voice.

"yes. .of course. . But be warned, he's not in a good state at the moment; there is a lot of bruising to his face; and a lot of blood."

I wince at the words, but nod at the doctor, and follow him to the room where Jack is.


	9. anger management

The halogen lights bathe the corridors in a eerie glow; seeming to suck all the colour out of the room. My shoes squeak against the polished floor, as I increase pace to match the doctor's. I count every floor tile that I step on; making a conscious decision not to step on any of cracks in-between. It's a little thing but I need something to take my mind off what I am walking towards.

Logically I know that Jack will be fine. He is always fine. . Bullets; bombs nothing fazes Captain Jack Harkness; he doesn't need to worry about death; because he knows that he will wake up. .

But that's just it. . What if he doesn't? I've seen it happen over a dozen times; but I can't stop the same knot forming in my stomach. What if this time's different? What happens if this time he doesn't wake up? So I keep on counting. 36. 37. 38. 39.

"He's just through here Mr Jones" Dr Meyer announces before stopping at a pair of swinging, and pushing briskly through; expecting me to follow.

"Ah. Captain Harkness. . When did you wake up?" Dr Meyer asks. He schools his voice but I can tell that Dr Meyer is extremely shocked by Jack's condition. By the sounds of it; he was at death's door twenty minutes ago.

I look at the bed to see Jack sat up with several pillows propping up his head.

"What took you so long?" he asks, completely ignoring the doctor's question as he hits me with a beaming smile. Even though he looks terrible I can feel the knot in my stomach beginning to loosen. He'll be alright.

"You look terrible" I state, but I can feel my lips mirroring his smile.

"You should see the other guy" Jack jokes; as my eyes scower what I can see for any injuries; not that I have to look hard. He's a mess; his right eye is bruised and swollen so that is nearly closed. The left hasn't faired much better with a cut over the eyelid. His left cheek has a bite mark across it that I know be from a Weevil; and the scratch marks on the other side.

I can see from my periphery; that the doctor, rises his eyebrows at the last comment; but says nothing as he consults the chart at the bottom of the bed.

"Now. . If you two don't mind. . I need to check Captain's Harknesses vitals. . So it would be better if you waited outside Mr Jones" The doctor asks, in his clipped voice. I simply roll my eyes as jack quirks an eyebrow in my direction. We really don't need this.

"Thank you for your work here doctor, but I don't think that will be necessary. . . Torchwood will be taking over the captains recovery for here." I state the rehearsed lines. It's not the first time I have used them; and it probably won't be the last; hospitals and torchwood seem to go hand in hand.

Dr Meyer has heard of Torchwood before. I can see it in his eyes; no curiosity or question; he knows what we are. But I can tell that he doesn't like it.

"And can you show me any credentials to back up this statement Mr Jones?" The doctor asks; with a saccharine smile.

Credentials of course; he has to be difficult. I smile at him as I move my hands to my back pocket, where I always keep my wallet.

Shit.

These aren't my jeans. . .these are James's. . .and my wallet with Torchwood identification is still in my suit which is back at James's. once again shit.

Jack is getting impatient.

"Is there a problem Ianto?"

"Um well. . You see my identification is the back pocket of my trousers" I start, as jack's eye hit my arse. . Not the time or place.

"Yes and?" Jack continues his voice gaining an annoyed edge.

"Well these aren't my jeans. . So it's not here" I state quietly; I'm never going to live this down.

"Can I guess whose they are?" Jack asks his voice heavy with innuendo. "Not that I really mind; you should wear jeans more often. . Your arse looks great" I'm too used to that kind of talk, to allow the blush to rise to my cheeks.

"So can I take that as you don't have any identification Mr Jones?" Dr Meyer asks.

"No I'm sorry but I don't."

"Well then if you don't mind stepping aside I need to check the Captain's vitals. Rolling my eyes I take a step back.

"Don't worry sir. The team has been contacted and they will arrive shortly. . You won't have to put up with this for much longer." I promise.

"You had better be right Ianto" Jack growls, as the doctor shines a light in his eye.

It's quite amusing to see jack being treated like this. . To see him without control.

"This isn't funny Ianto."

"no. not at all sir" I smile.

Jack is still being assessed when James comes through the doors.

"Hi" he starts, moving toward me; with a childlike smile.

"What are you doing here?" I hiss. This is exactly what I wanted to avoid; James and Jack in the same room.; not after this morning.

"I. I called everyone, and they are on their way" James states, his voice losing its confidence as he sees the annoyance in my eyes. "Ianto what's-"

"James French; we meet again. Ah wearing more clothes than last time. . Can't say I'm not disappointed" Jack comments; as Dr Meyer fusses over him.

"Wow Harkness you look awful."

"you're not the first person to say that to me today Mr French" Jack adds; his eyes moving from James to me.

"What happened?" he persists.

Jack gives me a significant look.

"Yes Captain. . What it is that attacked you must be very dangerous; it ripped a huge chunk out of your arms and chest; nearly took your kidney too. . You're a very lucky man" the doctor adds.

"big dog" Jack answers ambiguously.

"Huge dog" James adds.

"Yeah well. . It's very nice of you to come and see how I am. . .but as you can see I'm fine." The doctor manages a distinguished cough at this; which Jack chooses to ignore. "so how about you just toddle off now. Ianto's here to look after me." jack even smiles at me. . What an idiot.

"No" James answers.

"Excuse me?" Jack asks, the hackles begin to rise as he hits James with the trademark Harkness glower. Don't say anything else if you know what's good for you. Clearly James doesn't.

"You heard me. . I'm not leaving until Ianto does" he answers petulantly.

"James" I counter; moving to hold his hands. "It's fine for you to go. . We've got this covered. When Tosh; Owen and Gwen arrive we will take Jack back and then I'll come home. . To you" I tag on the end.

James seems to be listening now; as he nods before he stops and narrows his eyes in curiosity.

"Wait. . You're not taking Jack anywhere yet are you? I mean look at him" he disputes brandishing a hand in Jack's direction.

"Oy" Jack moans; but it is ignored.

"surely this is the best place for him, for God's sake. . I mean he looks like he's been bitten; chewed and spat back out by some sort of hell beast. . Hospital is the best place for him" James states; his eyes beginning to bug out of his head.

"you should listen to this young man. . You Torchwood. You always think you know best." the doctor moans; as he dons a pair of gloves; and starts to poke not too gently at Jacks head.

"Ouch" jack complains.

"Ah Captain you'll live" the doctor states.

"Torchwood?" James asks quietly, directing the question to me.

"It's the name. . the name of the organisation I/we work for."

"You said you were a civil servant" he hisses, putting pressure on my hands.

"Yeah. . I am Torchwood; is just the name of the department. . It's all a sub-section of the government" I admit begrudgingly.

"Ianto" Jack warns.

"I know. I know" I answer.

"Just please tell me that where you take him has medical facilities. . Someone who can care for him?" James asks seriously; his eyes burning into mine.

"Aw. . James I never knew you cared" Jack smiles; but is once again ignored.

Yes. . Owen; he's a trained doctor.. Jack will be perfectly safe" I promise; as I manage to force a smile out.

"Okay. . Well I'm guessing that's as good as I can get. .for now." I can hear the meaning in his voice; this isn't over. . And soon I'm going to have to tell him the truth. . All of it. "I'll wait outside." he relents; moving towards the door, and pushing through it.

"Well I think that's everything Captain Harkness" Dr Meyer notes; writing down a final note on the clip board. "You seem to be healing well. . But until I have any official identification I'm afraid but I cannot allow you to be discharged." The doctor comments; looking a little too pleased about it; as he pops the clipboard back on the bottom of the bed before leaving the room.

"He deserves to know" I mutter, as I move to sit on the chair next to Jack.

"What Dr Meyer? I think the truth would give him a heart attack" Jack laughs; as he grabs a bowl of grapes from the bedside table; and begins to dissect them.

"You know who I mean. James. . He's been brilliant Jack. . He even took he down here; at this God awful hour; for you.. . And he doesn't even know you" I bark; the anger beginning to fill my veins. . Jack Harkness, an insensitive arsehole.

Jack seems to consider my words; as he plops another grape into his mouth.

"Well. . He's already seen the tourist office. . And well he seems to be alright. . Except for a brief stint in Thai prison for drugs offences." Jack judges my reaction carefully; as I try to school my reactions. . Obviously not well enough though.

"You didn't know did you?" he asks with a tell -tell smile.

"Well I haven't told him about my time at the young offenders institution either" I reply briskly; enjoying jack's reaction immensely; for once he's shocked.

"That's not in your permanent records Ianto" he warns; but his eyes are twinkling.

"No. no it's not. . So when I tell James. . Do I still have a job. . My memories?" I ask, the words taking away the joviality in the room.

"So. . It's not up for discussion then is it?" Jack replies icily. "because whether or not I choose to act. . You will still tell him. . Won't you?" he asks; though it's not really a question is it?

"He has a right to know" I whisper; as I can feel the uncertainty trying to crush me.

"Quite right too" Jack booms; the smile firmly back in place. . "And Ianto. . I'm happy for you" Jack adds.

"No you're not" I contradict.

"No. . no I'm not. . But you're happy. . And that's enough for me" Jack concedes.

"Sir-" I begin, but he stops me. .

"Jack" he contradicts.

"Excuse me?" I ask, as I turn to stare at him.

"Please Ianto. . Just call me Jack. . Like old times" Jack smiles, and I can't help but blush at the memories that I'm sure he's reliving.

"I've always called you sir. Sir" I add with a quirking smile, falling too easily back into the banter; the slippery slope.

"You'd call me Jack when you'd come" Jack whispers, as he leaves the grapes forgotten on his lap and takes my hand.

"Please. . Don't" I utter. "Please don't do this" Jack sighs heavily, as I gently coax my hands from him.

"Okay. . Maybe I overstepped the line. . Just call me Jack. . We could be friends." Jack tries, with another lightning smile.

"We've never been friends. . Jack. . Even then we weren't friends" I contradict; but he smiles at me anyway; way to pleased to hear his name on my lips.

"I thought we were friends" Jack mutters; but doesn't really fuss. "But maybe we could try again? Try to be friends. . It could work? Well we could try at least" Jack wheedles; that smile wearing me down.

"Okay" I relent; nodding my head soundlessly. "We've got nothing to lose, aster all" we exchange beaming smiles as Tosh, Owen and Gwen bluster through the door; leaving them swinging on their hinges.

"Ah. . The cavalry's here" Jack notes, as they buzz around him; Owen checking and re-checking the charts before describing him as an insufferable git.

"What the hell happened to you?" Gwen demands; her eyes wild; I wouldn't be surprised if she foams at the mouth. At least Jack has the good decency to look contrite.

"I just had a bit of trouble with some Weevil's" Jack mutters; clearly not happy.

"Some?" Owen pushes; as he brandishes the results from the charts in his direction.

"Okay all in all there were about thirteen" he admits finally.

"What?!" I ask incredulously; and I can feel my hands grabbing at the covers. "Why the hell didn't you contact us? We could have helped. . You shouldn't have gone after them on your own. . When did you get the call?" I ask. .

"Wait a minute" Tosh starts, as she pulls out her PDA, and scrolls through for a couple of seconds. "I thought so" she murmurs.

"Tosh?" Owen asks.

"There was no incidents last night" she answers.

"I will ask only one more time Tosh. . What the hell are you going on about?" Owen demands; his anger rising.

"Well. You know about that hub detection monitor I set up; for the nights when we are not able to stay over. . Well I didn't get round to disabling it. . So last night. . If there were any new activities, any new cases then I should be alerted. . But look there's nothing" Tosh laments; walking over to me and showing me her the device.

"Nothing" I agree.

"And?" Jack asks; his blue eyes turning dark.

"Well Jack this just wasn't some case that got out of hand. . Not some sighting that you went to investigate before calling us in" Tosh explains; her voice becoming higher and higher pitched. "Because it would have come up on my device"

"Tosh just drop it" Jack barks; all humour is now gone; and without his face seems almost cruel; the lips casting a harsh straight line; the eyes turning into bottomless holes.

"For God's sake Jack. . Stop doing that. . Stop shutting us like this. . .it's not fair and since your disappearance I don't think you have earned back your right to secrets yet" I stare almost in awe of Gwen. Out of everyone I would have put money on it not being the one that ever stood up to Jack.

"Okay. . If you must know. . I was in the sewer enclosure. . The one where we house all the caught Weevils" Jack admits slowly; as he stares at everyone in the room but me. He just won't touch my eyes.

I know he can sense the next obvious question; so he head it off. "I. . I. my evening had turned out differently to how I intended" for the first time Jack manages to look at me; but it's brief, and not enough. "I received some. . Ah slightly disturbing news. . And well I needed to let off some steam" Jack admits; as he hangs his head.

"I thought that was what Ianto was for" Owen adds with a grimace; but we all ignore it.

"Let off some steam Jack? Look at you; you've been beaten half way to death!" I exclaim, as I try to ignore the smile that Jack beams as I say his name.

"Why didn't you call me? We could have go you patched up in the hub. . Saved all of this" Owen remarks his eyes alive with electricity.

"I was. . Embarrassed I thought I could get away with it without you guys finding out. . I worked my way out of the cell. . After I had enough. . .then I thought I might take a trip down to A&E. . you know. . A few scrapes a couple of cuts. . Nothing to get bent out of shape about" Jack admonishes tightly.

"It says here that you collapsed upon arrival. . They had to clean up several pints of your blood from the waiting room Jack." Owen shouts; his hands shaking the clipboard aggressively.

"Just take me back to the hub" Jack asks; though it sounds more like a demand when It comes out from between his lips.

There's no more need for words; we're not going to find out anymore about Jack's reasoning. . He's said more in last five minutes; than he would have before.. . . ..he left.

In the end Dr Meyer doesn't have much choice in discharging Captain Jack Harkness; just marking in the notes Torchwood. We all march out of his room; jack trying to conceal his limp; as he is flanked either side by Owen and Gwen.

James is sitting in the waiting room; standing when he see us coming down the corridor.

"sir-Jack" I correct myself "I'm going home now. . I'll be in bright and early at eight fifteen" I add; making sure that it does not sound like a question.

"Alright Ianto. But make it eleven o'clock. . Seeing as you will have to stay late tomorrow night" Jack adds. I take the orders with an assertive nod. That's fine; Jack can have me then. . James needs me now.


End file.
